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Nov. 6th, 2014

Today marks eight months since my mother left us. I'm silently marking the one-year anniversaries of developments that led to her passing, such as her radiation treatments. This isn't a terribly happy thing to be doing, though probably inevitable. I've been in a holding pattern since. I guess I thought, not that I'd get over her this fast, but I'd at least be doing more than three-hour naps and hours of websurfing every day. OK, some days I manage to go see some music. But I can't really force things; if I don't magically feel upbeat, I can't seem to change that. I'm sure that'll change someday. Maybe not for a while, though. Holidays, y'know.

I guess I'm sharing this because there's not much else for me to say at the moment. Maybe this was a bad time for post-a-day month.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
bitterlawngnome
Nov. 7th, 2014 05:02 am (UTC)
Also the time of year in itself, quite aside of what it reminds you of.
songdogmi
Nov. 7th, 2014 05:44 am (UTC)
Yes. I like this time of year a lot, but it is full of change and decay. The declining light is no help, of course. It was very gray and drizzly here today, not happy weather at all.
changeling72
Nov. 7th, 2014 06:16 am (UTC)
Hopefully getting past the first holiday season and the first anniversary will help.
songdogmi
Nov. 9th, 2014 09:06 pm (UTC)
Yes. It may be a rough four months or so. I know this. The holiday dinners will be, um, interesting.
georgelicious
Nov. 7th, 2014 11:25 am (UTC)
Eat some cookies. Cookies help me through rough times.
songdogmi
Nov. 9th, 2014 09:04 pm (UTC)
I like this approach. Muffins seem to help, too.
maxauburn
Nov. 7th, 2014 03:44 pm (UTC)
The first year after such a loss is the worst. After that, it gets a bit better.

You never really get over the loss- but you do get used to it.

*HUGS*
songdogmi
Nov. 9th, 2014 09:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I know (it has been 17 years since my dad passed), but knowing only helps a little bit.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 8th, 2014 09:01 pm (UTC)
Seconding what Max said. Grief has its own timetable and agenda. There are still some days with some loved ones when it feels as if they crossed just yesterday instead of years ago.

You're right--the dwindling light and impending holidays are of no help either.

Please be gentle with yourself.

Fran
songdogmi
Nov. 9th, 2014 09:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Fran. I try to not beat myself up over all the sleep I seem to need these days.
jjfmi
Nov. 10th, 2014 03:18 pm (UTC)
Many hugs to you, my friend... If you have any insight on dealing with such an event, please share. I don't think it's fully hit me yet.
songdogmi
Nov. 13th, 2014 07:53 pm (UTC)
I wish I knew. I guess I've been just muddling through. I'm not sure that works best.

My sister and I have gotten a bit closer. Our relationship is the best it's been in years. I know you don't have a sister, but you have your father and I know you're close. That might help you, even if he's still in Arizona.

*hugs*
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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