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2014 resolutions

1. I resolve to make no resolutions.

1.5. Wait... that's a resolution. Crap. Well, I guess I'll keep going.

2. I resolve to work up to bench pressing an actual bench.

3. I resolve to grow more hair ... by using my mind.

4. I resolve to create a new genre of novel: The peace novel. (I typeset an awful lot of war novels in the last few years.)

5. I resolve to find out the formula behind either LJ's "social capital" or Flickr's "interestingness" — even if I have to go into The Matrix to do it.

6. I resolve to compose new aphorisms inspired by modern times, such as "A watched device never outputs" ... and then copyright, trademark, and patent the hell out of them. Bet Benjamin Franklin wishes he did that, eh?

7. I resolve that this will be the year I finally complete my transcription of Gustav Mahler's Das Lied von der Erde for untrained tenor and steel-string guitar. Or start it, maybe. Or at least listen to the original source.

8. I resolve to get someone to conduct a seance to meet my dead ancestors so I can slap them upside the head and yell "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????"

9. I resolve to discover whether there is life outside of the Internet by installing a web camera just outside my front door that I can watch from my desktop.

I can't say I did all that well in 2013 or 2012, but I am undeterred in my resolve. I will be after my nap, that is.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 1st, 2014 07:14 pm (UTC)
There is only the internet. Life is all a big game.
Jan. 1st, 2014 10:17 pm (UTC)
I was afraid of that. Well, I can quit showering now, then,* because the Internet doesn't have an odour transmission protocol yet.

(*Note: Just kidding.)
Jan. 9th, 2014 03:25 am (UTC)
Very nice.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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