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My Annual Black Friday Announcement

I couldn't listen to five minutes of news coverage this week without hearing about plans of retail stores around Thanksgiving Day, or, as it's apparently known now, Christmas T Minus 27. It's not enough to open before sunrise on the Friday after; it's barely sufficient to open late on Thanksgiving Day itself. No, there are stores opening long before the parades step off on Thanksgiving morning. Who needs family time around the dinner table when you can shop? Or when you can wait on overanxious customers?

There are, of course, people complaining that nothing is sacred anymore except money. I've heard one plausible positive about the shopping acceleration, that being the people who must work on Thanksgiving Day will get more money for their own shopping, along with other perks — I think I heard Walmart is giving workers turkey dinners.

Here's the thing: It might be no help to retailers to start early, because analysts expect store sales to be rough this year. Customers may be planning to buy less than they did last year. Amazing, in this sort of economy, that people would make that decision. Anyway, it makes one wonder why they're putting themselves out so. Maybe they have to because Thanksgiving is so late in November this year.

It's probably redundant for me to make this announcement, but I will anyway: As in years past, I am not shopping on Black Friday, and I'm not shopping on Thanksgiving, either. I just don't deal with insanity all that well, and stores at the start of the holiday shopping season are insane. But hey, you all go have fun, knock yourselves out.

Um, not literally....


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