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( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 16th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
Because then you'd have to explain the weird dead birds around your house.
Sep. 16th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
To the best of my knowledge, I cannot recall just how that bird got there.
Sep. 17th, 2009 02:52 am (UTC)
Why not indeed. You couldn't possibly be any worse than most of the boneheads that are in office now.
Sep. 17th, 2009 02:12 pm (UTC)
But being a senator would cut into my LJ and Facebook time.
Sep. 17th, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
I doubt it. After all, think of all the time they waste on extramarital affairs with docents and interns. We know you probably won't be doing that, so you'll still have plenty of time. ;p
Sep. 17th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Good point. And I might even be able to concoct a bill or two.

I can't imagine anyone making an issue of my lack of female significant other and church affiliation....
Sep. 17th, 2009 04:47 pm (UTC)
Heh. James Buchanan had no wife. Ted Kennedy survived Chappaquiddick by decades. In spite of the way Bill Clinton was treated, no one is trying to impeach Mark Sanford. Barney Frank continues to be re-elected to the House. I think the secret there is not being secretive, if you will.

The same is true for religion. Just don't campaign as a militant atheist. You can answer questions honestly, and no one can accuse you of being deceitful or having an "agenda" (though how the Senate could be run without an agenda is hard to imagine.)

You know what I'd find the hardest? Kissing babies. ;p
Sep. 17th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
I would bring back Jeffersonian invocations of "Providence." I think it's high time that came back in style.

As for the kissing babies thing... yeah, that kinda squicks me too. I'll kiss babies I'm directly related to, but ... see the thing is, during a campaign it's like people expect you to be their friend. I'm not going to be the friend of 9 MILLION people*. I will be friendly to you, I will listen (if you stay on topic), I will do what you need when I can, but I don't think it's wise to pretend I care enough about your baby to kiss him/her/it.

See, now we really know why I wouldn't be elected.

And it's hard to see how the Senate runs even WITH an agenda, and they get a new one every day.


* approx. population of Michigan. YMMV.

Sep. 17th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
Maybe I could run for office by kissing puppies instead?

Somehow I don't think tearing the heads off live chickens would work...
Sep. 17th, 2009 09:58 pm (UTC)
Even if you weren't elected, you'd be happy about the puppies. And that's a win.
Sep. 17th, 2009 11:52 pm (UTC)
Actually, all joking aside:

The real reason you don't run for the Senate is that you are not independently wealthy as a result of having spent years pandering to couch potatoes and morons with "entertainment television" disguised as "sports."

You could of course sell your soul to some other wealthy interests, which is the second most common way to get into the Senate, but I suspect you're a bit more attached to your soul than the average Senator seems to be.
Sep. 18th, 2009 04:28 am (UTC)
That's very true. No wealth here. Also, it's arguably easier to become a Senator after getting elected to lower offices first (though Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama are notable recent exceptions), and I haven't even run for dogcatcher anywhere. (Is the office of dogcatcher elected in any locality anymore?)

I can't see undergoing the scrutiny required for any office. Whether there's anything to find in my background or not, just to have everything questioned and examined, and to accept it at least somewhat graciously... I think my head would explode.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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